Oh, where do I start? I sit here playing on my little "puter" which is located next to the TV in the living room. I'm a prisoner to what programs I get to see, mainly because my wife has the remote in a death grip. Her viewing pleasure is much different than mine.
She enjoys crime stories, and what some call "reality" TV. You know, the important stuff...Jerry Springer, Maury, and every judge show ever to disgrace the airwaves. One, in particular, comes to mind, Lauren Lakes Paternity Court!
The script is usually the same, girl looking for baby daddy. He denies sleeping with her, meanwhile, his wife, who is standing beside him yells and screams "the bitch is lying, no way he her baby daddy"! So the usual testimony ensues, both calling each other whores, deadbeats, and both claiming the opposite of whatever lies they are telling.
Sometimes some other poor bastard gets thrown into the mix, and he denies having an intimate relationship with the baby momma. Finally, as it seems to me, the judge gets tired of their bantering and asks the bailiff for the DNA results.
So there stands the baby momma, the accused baby daddy and his wife, and the other poor guy who got called to court. Then the judge begins, the DNA results are in, and in the case of this baby... and then commercial! So since I've been stuck watching this bullshit, that's when I'd love to have the extra cash to buy another TV set, because this one I have, would become a UFO, otherwise.
The commercial is over, the announcement was that neither accused baby daddy is actually the baby daddy. WAIT, it's not over. Then the judge looks at the baby moma and asks her if she might know who it was that she fucked that got her knocked up. Many times they look up all doe-eyed at the judge and say, No your honor.
Just once I'd love to hear some guy from the back row in the courtroom yelled out, It was an immaculate conception, your honor, He wanted another one after that last fiasco!"